411: Gay Marriage Ban "Explained"

Thankfully, the House defeated the proposed constitutional ban on gay marriage the other day. The proposed ammendment was an absurd attempt to pander to a narrow segment of the population that believe the "sanctity" of marriage can be preserved; many heterosexual marriages to the contrary. Britney Spears and Eminem come to mind, as well as Republican hyprocrite Newt Gingrich, who divorced his first wife while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer. But we digress.

The real news, thanks to Think Progress, is that several of our elected representatives seem to have a direct line to the thoughts of the Almighty, who weighs in on the whole issue.

Rep. John Carter (R-TX): “It’s part of God’s plan for the future of mankind.”
Rep. Mike Pence (R-IN): “It wasn’t our idea, it was God’s.”
Rep. Bob Beauprez (R-CO): “We best not be messing with His plan.”
Rep. Phil Gingrey (R-GA): “I think God has spoken very clearly on this issue.”

"We best not be messing...?" Um, we kinda thought if God were to speak he'd at least use better grammar.


Visit the site for a video compilation of these and more quotes from our neo-prophets on the hill.