Showing posts with label Terrorism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Terrorism. Show all posts

1.03.2007

DisConnected: Pat Robertson Predicts Death and Destruction for U.S.


Dude, we were totally going to make our predictions for the new year, but religious snake oil salesman Pat Robertson totally stole our thunder. Seems ol' Pat got another one of his patented telegrams from God, and this one foretells another attack on the United States. According to the soothsayer:

"I'm not necessarily saying it's going to be nuclear. The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that."


Our prediction: Britney stays drunk and slutty throughout '07. We feel kind of lame now.


12.06.2006

411: Adding a New Dimension to Air Panic


As you plan your holiday travels, take heed of this delightful news nugget, which comes to us from BoingBoing. Seems an American Airlines passenger, who suffered from a "medical condition" (read: stinky farts) tied to hide her odoriferous output by lighting matches. This being the era of air travel hysteria however, her actions forced the plane to make an early landing as someone thought they smelled a terror plot.

The passengers and five crew members were brought off the plane, together with all the luggage, to go through security checks again. Bomb-sniffing dogs found spent matches. The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal body odor, [Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority] said. The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition. The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane. "American has banned her for a long time," Lowrance said.


Listen, people, we've smelled some farts that have damn near qualified as chemical weapons, but come on. As for travelers with "medical conditions," for the safety and security of those around you, take some Beano, or at least stuff a dryer sheet down your panties.

Flatulence forces plane landing[BoingBoing]


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