Chit Chat: Monday Morning Mess

Amazonian sex freak turned reality TV star Brigitte Nielsen married husband no. 5 this weekend. Flavor Flav reportedly got crunk and cried softly into his viking helmet when he heard the news. [Google News]

Suri Cruise is real! There's a birth certificate and everything. Tom Cruise's heterosexuality, however, still a sham. [TMZ]

Madonna may be dunzo with Kabbalah. You best watch out Quakers, she's coming for your religion next. [The Independent]

Owen Wilson's a method actor. If by method, we mean he actually gets drunk to film his drunk scenes. Well, it worked for Peter O'toole. [Lowdown]

Jared Leto's new "look." Probably not going to dispel those gay rumors. [City Rag]