The Ring-A-Ding: Queens Come Clean, Pope Evil is Mean, McGreevey Dishes Steam

Ah, you gotta love slow news days.

You can breathe easier now, dear readers. We know that you could barely go on living. How does one get up in the morning in a world where Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie can't be friends and also Elton John and George Michael are feuding? Well, fear not. Cancel your xanax prescription (actually just send us your pills-NOW!) because those two British Queens have ended their long held row. Rumour has it that it all started in the late 90's in some bushes outside of a public park in Los Angeles. George Michael was cruising for dick looking for his cell phone and was accosted by an overweight, bitchy queer in sequins looking for sex. When Michael declined the offer, the outrageous queen (John) beat him over the head with rhinestone sunglasses. Well, that is the word on the streets anyway. However, it is all for nothing now, the feud is over.

YAY for Muslims! We love anyway that hates Pope evil as much as us! And we are on the side of any groups that keeps getting as much tongue lashing (he-he, tongue lashing) as us queers. Seems that Pope Evil followed up some homophobic remarks with anti-Muslim remarks. Nice! But the leaders of Islam aren't taking it. The Pakistani parliament have passed a message of censure against the Pope, and the Egyptian Muslim Brotherhood said his ill-advised comments have "aroused the anger of the whole Islamic world."

In further news of the formerly closeted, details about McGreevey's interview on the Oprah Winfrey Show are slowly leaking out. McGreevey talks about how he felt he had to hide his true feelings, about how hard it was, about what it was like the first time he kissed a man, blah, blah, blah. What we find most interesting about the story in the link is this phrase: "The nation's first openly gay governor told Winfrey he believed he was in love with the man, said two audience members who agreed to speak only on condition of anonymity because the talk-show host asked them not to divulge the contents of the broadcast. " OMG. Those poor audience members are fearing for their lives. They are afraid to speak out. I can see it now. Two middle-aged ladies who have waited years to go see god Oprah Winfrey come home and live in shadows until the air date of the show they saw taping. They answer no calls, speak to no friends and when asked what they witnessed, they just hide behind their Oprah Winfrey burkas.

Elton John ;George Michael ;Paris HIlton ;Nicole Ritchie ;Pope Evil ;James McGreevey ;Oprah Winfrey