911: Trickle-Down Fashion Trends

Time for another patented Operator editorial, so grab your Oxy and pour yourself another voddy, cause we've got something to say. Sufficiently lubricated? Good. Because today, boys and girls, we're going to talk about a terrifying thing called "trickle-down fashion." The concept is simple, Celebrity X wears a certain outfit, and before you can say "Dress Barn" there are knock-off versions and imitations flooding middle America. But what's good for Hollywood may not be good for the fast food fed masses. For example, stirrup pants. Sure, a skeletal Kate Bosworth can rock some leggings on her bony frame, but by the time little Betty Applebottom, who's maybe still clinging to some baby fat, or has what we call "birthing hips" tries to imitate her idol, the results can be disastrous. Not that we have anything against Betty Applebottom, we prefer a healthy girl to the negative-sized, anorexic Crypt Keepers who people La La Land, but know your audience.

Which brings us to Britney's vajayjay. Surely you've seen the pictures of the deposed pop princess, arm in arm with walking STD Paris Hilton, taking her kitty out for some air. We don't necessarily want to see the former Mrs. Federline's lovesocket, but since the paparazzi follow her around endlessly, and she apparently forgot to do her laundry that week, we'll grudgingly accept it as another wacky celebrity inevitability. What we don't want is for the short skirt/commando look to become a sweeping trend. We don't want to be on line at the post office, or on the subway, or picking up our food stamps, and have to see Ms. J.Q. Public's vagina. Save it for your gynecologist. For every attractive, slutty celebrity, there are thousands of women who fancy themselves to be thin, slutty celebrities. Here's a hint: they aren't.

So please, don't go commando just because Britney did. The Operator thanks you for your consideration.