DirectCall: Ask The Operator [White House Egg Roll]

**from time to time, we here at the offices of THE OPERATOR receive some letters asking us our advice. Always one to lend a helping hand, THE OPERATOR will answer these questions in an effort to make the world a better place.**

Dear The Operator:

As you may or may not know, the First Lady of our fine country has said that ALL families are welcome to the annual White House Easter Egg Roll. My partner and I have been together for 14 years and have a five year old little girl. We are planning to line up and get tickets to this event and let the country see that our family is the same as the next.

There is going to be a good number of other same-sex families who are planning to do the same thing. Although we do not see this as a blatant political protest, we will all be wearing rainbow-colored leis as a way to distinguish ourselves from the rest of the group. I was wondering though, what should one wear to such an event and how can I color co-ordinate with the rainbow lei?

Also, should we tell our daughter to give her best and attempt to win the event or should we view this as a fun, family thing and not a competition?

signed, Excited Gay Guy

Dear EGG,

How wonderful for you and your family! Make sure you take lots of photos and send them to The Operator. I have always found it strange that Mrs Bush is married to the anti-christ Georgie. She seems sweet, intelligent and lately very tolerant and her husband...well, need I say anything.

As for your first question, I think you should stick with pastels. A nice tan or khaki pant with a pastel polo and a pullover sweater would be so traditional and appropriate at this time of year. A trouser, shirt tie and cardigan in a subdued color pallet would also be very fresh and in line with this season's trends. Your daughter needs to be in her Best Easter Dress. Most importantly you need to remember that the eyes of the nation will be on you, so make sure you make a good impression.

As for the competition question, I am going to go against my own instincts here. Normally I would say that this should be a fun, family event and no pressure should be put on your little darling. However, in light of today's political climate, it is very important that the child of a same-sex family wins the egg roll. Therefore, you tell your daughter to do everything she can to get ahead. If she needs to push another child out of the way, tell her to do so politely, but not be afraid to trample a "breeder".

Also, the President is known to show up unexpectedly at this event. If this should occur, do not look him directly in the eye, for you will turn to stone shy away from public displays of affection. Take the lead of these students, pick up your daughter and give your husband a great big SMOOCH!

Have fun! and Happy Easter!
THE OPERATOR