Star 69: I'm a little bit country!

ok, well not a little bit- ALOT. And not just "country" Britney, you are straight up, red-neck, white trash. Honey, I was born white trash and I can't even put up with you. I was so excited when I heard that you were giving an interview. The entertainment business person in me thought, "this could be a great PR move."

You would be able to lash out at your detractors, put a stop to some rumors and get the public back on your side.

Boy was I wrong. Honey, you need a new publicist! and a stylist. I know you were going for that down home, just a regular girl thing but you did it all wrong. Check out Reese Witherspoon for tips on how to be the Southern girl next door.

You didn't admit to doing anything wrong, You didn't admit that there were any problems with your marriage- when every marriage has some problems, and you admitted that you were going to screw up with your children even more.

The only time I really believed anything you were saying is when you broke down about the papporazzi. I really do think it must be awful to be constantly hounded by photographers and to have no sense of privacy or security.

When Matt Lauer asked what you thought it would take to get the media to leave you alone, you responded, "I don't know, I really don't know."

I know. Just keep doing what your doing. The press will soon tire of a fat, washed up, 25 yr old red-neck, a has-been who chews gum like a cow, dresses like a pregnant stripper and doesn't even know how to properly adhere fake eyelashes.

The scrutiny will soon be over.