411: Avoid Calling Lance Bass a Big Homo Fag

In regards to a certain press release, The Operator has some additional tips for our media friends when covering the Lance Bass story.

1) Don't rhyme "Bass" with "ass" to create a clever headline, such as: "Lance Bass Admits He Takes It Up the Ass." That would be crass.

2) Don't ask Lance if he's had sex with Justin Timberlake. Don't ask Lance if he's fantasized about having sex with Justin Timberlake. Don't ask Lance if Justin Timberlake is gay. Don't ask Lance if he's lingered on the tour bus by Justin's bunk to get a peek at his timbersnake. Don't ask anything that will remind Lance how much he wishes he'd had sex with Justin Timberlake, even just once.

3) Gay is the preferred adjective in referring to men who are sexually attracted to other men. Here are some terms to avoid: rump ranger, butt pirate, fudge packer, cock gobbler, Nancy, Mary, Fairy, ass bandit and big ol' homo fag.

4) It's best not to bring up that whole astronaut thing. It was clearly a diversion by his publicist to keep the masses from realizing he was gay.

And remember, like the press release says: there is no "gay lifestyle" or "alternative lifestyle" just as there is no "straight lifestyle." There is a celebrity lifestlyle, however, and that is to be held sacred at all costs.

Lance Bass ; Homo Fag; Press