Ask The Operator: I am Married but I Sleep with Men.

**from time to time, we here at the offices of THE OPERATOR receive some letters asking us our advice. Always one to lend a helping hand, THE OPERATOR will answer these questions in an effort to make the world a better place.**

Dear The Operator,

I am a public official in a very high profile position in London. Last year, I was the center of a huge scandal because I had a relationship with a gay prostitute. I don't think the problem was so much the legality of what I did-Yes, at certain points he was paid to have sex with me- but the problem was that I am married with children.

I know what you are thinking. It was an awful lapse in judgment on my part and I am really trying to work it out in counseling with my wife. However, our sessions have led me to have some major revelations. I don't think I would ever have had reason to reconsider my sexuality had it not been for a combination of factors and events at a difficult period in my life. I feel like I had this affair because I hated my job, was miles away from my wife and family on a constant basis and was going through a mid-life crisis- not too mention a dramatic hair loss.

I know it may be hard to answer but does this affair mean that I am gay?

Sincerely,
Hoping Overt Motivations are Over

Dear HOMO,

I can understand your feelings, HOMO. As we age, we begin to question our sexual prowess. Especially for men, it is important to know that someone finds you attractive and virile. And what better way to make sure someone finds you attractive than to pay them?

You said that your work problems, the absence of your family and loss of hair had caused you to hire your rentboy. This is totally understandable, HOMO. Some guys buy a Ferrari, you buy a hooker. Even Steven. And sex with someone of the same sex does not necessarily make you gay. Desire for and repeated sex with someone of the same sex makes you gay.

Which brings me to the answer for your question, HOMO. Having an affair doesn't make you gay. But you could have paid for a female prostitute- and you didn't.

That's all I am saying.