Return Call: operatorLA

Hey kids,

For those of you who are loyal readers you may have noticed that in the past week, operatorLA has been out of service. Our little office was being run solely (and superbly) by OperatorNYC. operatorLA wants to thank all of you for the lovely cards and thoughts of concern, but he must clear up the rumours that the media has been spreading.

operatorLA did not enter "rehab" for an "eating disorder." He did not break up with his boyfriend after a coke binge and breakdown in the lobby of the Chateau Marmont. He did, however, fly to Africa to adopt a baby.

It was a great week for operatorLA and he had never known such happiness. That is until the authorities showed up at the operatorLA enclave. It seems that in Africa, stepping off a plane, picking up the first child that seems poor and hungry, and taking that child back to LA is not considered adoption. It's considered kidnapping.

But fret not, callers. It also seems that operatorLA was in such a vodka and xanax haze that he hadn't actually adopted a child, but had only kidnapped a village goat named Mulani. Damn those airline martinis, damn them. So he is not being charged with kidnapping but does have to appear in court on an international animal trafficking charge.

So after grieving the loss of his beloved mulani, operatorLA has returned to the operator offices to regale you with snarky comments and an interesting point of view.

I will always love you Mulani.