911: EARTH DECLARES WAR

In what can only be described as the first in many strikes of retalliation, the Earth has declared war on gas guzzling, unneccessary modes of transportion.

In a statement directed to the entire human population, Mother Nature, Earth's commander in chief said, "We gave you fair warning. If you didn't get the point when we started warming up the temperatures or unleashing massive hurricanes at your shores, you will know now that we mean business. This is just the first phase of our engagement strategy. If you do not surrender these disgusting vehicles and create a non-harmful source of energy, our attacks will continue. There is no negotion on this matter. You are either with us or you are against us."

In response to this declaration of war, US President George Bush said, "Mother Nature's tactics are pure terrorism and our policy towards terrorism will stay the same."

via CNN