Voicemail: Madonna, We're Hanging Up On You

So, tickets went onsale for your "Confessions" tour and they're selling like crazy. OperatorNYC is happy for you Ester, may we call you Ester? Or your Madgesty? Sorry, anyway, It's just that well, your tickets are like $350 for a decent seat. That ain't right. Who do you think you are, Streisand? We know that the majority of your fan base is made up of "the gays," and they have a lot of disposable income, but there are some fans who're going to have to take out a loan or refinance their house just to take a date to the show. OperatorNYC was lucky enough to see your last tour and it was fierce. Except for a few missteps. We know you like the Kabalah, we get it, stop beating us over the head with it. We were excited to hear about the "Confessions" tour because we really, really like the album. But due to financial constraints, we cannot see you on this tour. And that hurts, Madge, it does. Sure we could buy the crappy $65 seats, but we're afraid of heights and get nosebleeds easily. So we'll have to wait until they air it on HBO, or Showtime, or it comes out on DVD.

Then there's the whole bid for indie cred by playing Coachella. You don't need cred. You're Madonna, for fuck's sake.

Sorry we're rambling. Say "hi" to Lola, Rocco and Guy for us. And next time you see Gwyneth, bitch slap her for naming her new baby Moses, okay.