Ask the Operator: I Am Over My Main Man

**from time to time, we here at the offices of THE OPERATOR receive some letters asking us our advice. Always one to lend a helping hand, THE OPERATOR will answer these questions in an effort to make the world a better place.**

Dear The Operator,

Boy do I have a dilemna! I have been seeing this guy for 6 years now. When we first met things were great. He seemed charming in that kinda Marlboro Man way and even though he wasn't all that bright, it was his sense of humor and good-natured pluck that really drew him to me. At first everything was great (isn't it always?), then we seemed to be confronted with tragedy after tragedy.

But I stuck by him, I mean isn't that what a good woman does. And he seemd to be the strong figure that I needed during those hard times. He told me that everything was going to be alright and that he would pull us through. I believed him for so long. Even when I had another awesome guy interested in me, I gave up that opportunity to stick with my fella and try and make it work. Boy was that a mistake!

I have recently found out that he has been lying to me. Not just once but many times, almost about everything. I was also informed that he has been committing felonies (for which he hasn't been charged) and that he has been spying on me.

He keeps saying that what he is doing is for our best interests, but I am beginning to think that it is not true. I want out out of this relationship. Am I the only one that has ever felt this way? What should I do?

Signed, Confused

Dear Confused,

You are not the only one that feels this way. It seems alot of women lately are finding out that their man is not who they thought he was. And these women are feeling the same way as you- neglected, abused, confused and angry.

While I always think it is good to give your relationship every opportunity to flourish, I need to set you straight. This man has lied to you, cheated you and neglected you. He says what he is doing is for your good but then you find out it isn't. He gives you tough talk when you confront him but when he needs something he is all lovey, dovey again.

It is the oldest trick in the book. This man may not be physically abusing you, but he is emotionally abusing you. The only thing you can do is GET RID OF HIM!

It may take a few years to get him completely out of your life but you can start the process now. Severe all ties, don't believe a word he says, don't give him anymore money and don't talk to his friends. Begin cleaning up your mistakes now and soon your life will be back to the way it needs to be.

It isn't going to be easy, it sounds like he is a crafty criminal, but you can do it girl!