Ask the Operator

**from time to time, we here at the offices of THE OPERATOR receive some letters asking us our advice. Always one to lend a helping hand, THE OPERATOR will answer these questions in an effort to make the world a better place.**

Dear The Operator:

I am a teacher and I need some advice. I teach Cosmetics at Carl Sandburg College. I have been in our industry for quite awhile and have seen how the homosexual agenda has affected our business. Those queers have come into our salons, mall make-up counters and fashion shows and have taken over. What was once a great industry for suburban housewives has been turned into a subversive and illicit hot bed for homosexual activity. Why, a girl can't go get a permanent wave or walk into a proper beauty parlor without coming face to face with a queer.

I have had enough of their repeated efforts to marginalize us working women and prepared a nice, little and informative brochure for my students. Essentially, tracts in my pamphlets included calling homosexuality a sin, urged people to read the bible and told my students they must be baptized to avoid going to hell. I didn't see anything wrong with my literature, but the school has asked me to stop circulating the brochure.

I am aghast. Not only does this infringe on my first amendment rights, but it has also stopped me from handing out other brochures I have created. My "Why The Blackies Have Ruined Professional Sports" and "How To Approach Your Oriental Manicurist" brochures will never see the light of day.

I am horrified and confused. What do you think I should do?

Signed,
Miss Piggee

Dear Miss Piggee:

We here at The Operator know what you are going through. We can't tell you how many times we tried to learn the art of the Brazilian Wax and felt discriminated against by the Hungarian She-Women that dominate the field. Or the time that operatorLA tried to get a job in the Waste Management Division here in Los Angeles but was passed over because he didn't speak Mexican.

We feel you, Piggee, and know that racism and prejudice abound everywhere in our society. What has happened to you is a travesty and you should not take it lying down. You entered a field that was notoriously free of homosexuals and then like a bad hangover, you woke up one day and couldn't get rid of them. Patience, Piggee. We must look past our momentary, earthy trials and keep the end goal in sight. God will reward you in the end because he hates faggots too!

Just remember that. And in the meantime continue applying your blue eye-shadow with aplomb!